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Jesse Reno Discovers Fire!

Legendary Portland artist Jesse Reno joins Salvia Darling to discuss the tragic events that led to third degree burns and thousands of dollars of property damage, as well as his feelings on fire, rocks, and aluminum cans. Reno’s artwork will be on display at The Goodfoot throughout the month of July 2011.... more

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Pacific Art Collective

Folks we just got news that the Pacific Art Collective from San Jose California has been operating under an assumed identity. Not only have they been secretly conspiring with the Soviet Government about a possible world wide artistic over throw but they have also been selling artwork at unbeatable low prices…. Ladies and Gentlemen we have not seen deals like this since Portland’s own Outrageous Audio started slashing prices on... more

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Portland City Art (.org) CONCEDES

In what will go down as one of the longest and ugliest battles the Art Scene has ever known, John Graeter of Portland City Art (.org) has made it official tonight: his non-profit group is throwing in the towel. Portland City Art (.com) is victorious. Before we get to the festivities (which have been going full force since late Saturday evening when Graeter placed a phone call to our offices... more

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Winner of our Junior Essay Contest

About a month ago, we tasked Portland area children with an after school assignment. Write a one page essay addressing a major misconception. Not one of them got the pun (as can be said for most of you as well) but our favorite was written by 9-year old “Kui Fucker”. Way to go, “Kui”, we think you have the makings of a future debate team member in high school. Enjoy... more

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Jason Brown’s Emergency Facial Hair Removal Procedure Puts Goodfoot Bar in Turmoil!!!

Sources have confirmed that Jason Brown (Goodfoot bar operator, music and art venue coordinator) is set to receive emergency hair removal treatment at Legacy Emanuel Hospital in NE Portland this weekend for an ongoing problem he has had with tremendous uncontrollable facial hair growth. According to friends and family Jason has been battling with this issue for several years now. Recently he sought treatment in North Korea with Doctor Hoo... more

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John Graeter: Terrifying Photos Reveal Native Portland Legend Behind Art Scene Conspiracy

Several witnesses and Portland city officials were shocked when creative director for the well respected nonprofit organization Portland City Art (.org) was photographed in public with his alleged twin brother Twinky Simmins Graeter, a known fugitive and Anarchist of the Arts. Though John has been suspected for remaining in close contact with Twinky over the last few years no one in the art community has had solid evidence that the... more

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Blockbuster Artist Trade Finalized! Elliott Sends Kraft to Haberman in Exchange for Sincere Compliment

The Portland art scene was rudely awakened from a Pabst Blue Ribbon induced slumber early this morning by a shocking development that has insiders scratching their heads in disbelief: Steve Elliott has traded Charlie Alan Kraft to Chris Haberman in exchange for one sincere compliment. The Bad News Bears are no more. Inspired by the recent Philadelphia Eagles trade of superstar quarterback Donovan McNabb to the Washington Redskins for a... more

>> (5) Comments for Everyone!

Even though you are all a bunch of morons, we decided (from the beginning) that the best thing for everyone involved in the Portland art scene is to allow ANYONE and EVERYONE to write for us. That is why we have always been open to the public. All you have to do is register, and walla, you can write articles. Some of you figured that out from the beginning, but... more

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Around the Mayor’s Waist in Sixty Seconds

Good evening, Portland! Salvia Darling here, coming to you live from the side of the Willamette River. I would tell you which side, but as heartache starts to become a widespread epidemic amongst my young, female anchor-groupies, I have set my cloaking device to engage. This just in! the Mayor could stand to lose some weight! The Mayor was spotted recently at a Jenny Craig seminar, and was thought to... more

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