all articles filed under News...
Jesse Reno Discovers Fire!
Legendary Portland artist Jesse Reno joins Salvia Darling to discuss the tragic events that led to third degree burns and thousands of dollars of property damage, as well as his feelings on fire, rocks, and aluminum cans. Reno’s artwork will be on display at The Goodfoot throughout the month of July 2011.... more
tagged with aluminum cans, fire, jesse reno, rocks, The Goodfoot
>> (0) Comments
Pacific Art Collective
Folks we just got news that the Pacific Art Collective from San Jose California has been operating under an assumed identity. Not only have they been secretly conspiring with the Soviet Government about a possible world wide artistic over throw but they have also been selling artwork at unbeatable low prices…. Ladies and Gentlemen we have not seen deals like this since Portland’s own Outrageous Audio started slashing prices on... more
>> (0) Comments
Portland City Art (.org) CONCEDES
In what will go down as one of the longest and ugliest battles the Art Scene has ever known, John Graeter of Portland City Art (.org) has made it official tonight: his non-profit group is throwing in the towel. Portland City Art (.com) is victorious. Before we get to the festivities (which have been going full force since late Saturday evening when Graeter placed a phone call to our offices... more
tagged with Andrea "Ray" Boyle, Chris Haberman, John Graeter
>> (1) Comments
Winner of our Junior Essay Contest
About a month ago, we tasked Portland area children with an after school assignment. Write a one page essay addressing a major misconception. Not one of them got the pun (as can be said for most of you as well) but our favorite was written by 9-year old “Kui Fucker”. Way to go, “Kui”, we think you have the makings of a future debate team member in high school. Enjoy... more
tagged with bear hugs, Divas, gaydar, John Cena, wrestling
>> (1) Comments
Jason Brown’s Emergency Facial Hair Removal Procedure Puts Goodfoot Bar in Turmoil!!!
Sources have confirmed that Jason Brown (Goodfoot bar operator, music and art venue coordinator) is set to receive emergency hair removal treatment at Legacy Emanuel Hospital in NE Portland this weekend for an ongoing problem he has had with tremendous uncontrollable facial hair growth. According to friends and family Jason has been battling with this issue for several years now. Recently he sought treatment in North Korea with Doctor Hoo... more
tagged with facial hair, Goodfoot, Jason Brown
>> (3) Comments
John Graeter: Terrifying Photos Reveal Native Portland Legend Behind Art Scene Conspiracy
Several witnesses and Portland city officials were shocked when creative director for the well respected nonprofit organization Portland City Art (.org) was photographed in public with his alleged twin brother Twinky Simmins Graeter, a known fugitive and Anarchist of the Arts. Though John has been suspected for remaining in close contact with Twinky over the last few years no one in the art community has had solid evidence that the... more
>> (0) Comments
Blockbuster Artist Trade Finalized! Elliott Sends Kraft to Haberman in Exchange for Sincere Compliment
The Portland art scene was rudely awakened from a Pabst Blue Ribbon induced slumber early this morning by a shocking development that has insiders scratching their heads in disbelief: Steve Elliott has traded Charlie Alan Kraft to Chris Haberman in exchange for one sincere compliment. The Bad News Bears are no more. Inspired by the recent Philadelphia Eagles trade of superstar quarterback Donovan McNabb to the Washington Redskins for a... more
tagged with Bad News Bears, Charlie Alan Kraft, Chris Haberman, Donovan McNabb trade, portland city art, slacks, Steve Elliott, unemployment
>> (5) Comments
PortlandCityArt.com for Everyone!
Even though you are all a bunch of morons, we decided (from the beginning) that the best thing for everyone involved in the Portland art scene is to allow ANYONE and EVERYONE to write for us. That is why we have always been open to the public. All you have to do is register, and walla, you can write articles. Some of you figured that out from the beginning, but... more
>> (4) Comments
Around the Mayor’s Waist in Sixty Seconds
Good evening, Portland! Salvia Darling here, coming to you live from the side of the Willamette River. I would tell you which side, but as heartache starts to become a widespread epidemic amongst my young, female anchor-groupies, I have set my cloaking device to engage. This just in! the Mayor could stand to lose some weight! The Mayor was spotted recently at a Jenny Craig seminar, and was thought to... more
tagged with Caligula, class system, Corey Haim, fame, hip-meat, homeless people, Jenny Craig, Portland Police shootings, Sam Adams, story problems featuring condoms
>> (1) Comments