all articles filed under Mail Bag...

John from Cincinatti: Fat Girl Jokes are More Popular Than Ever

Dear Editor, Did you know many companies within your vertical are currently advertising under the term (fat girl jokes) and it’s costing them about (0.62) per click? Why not capitalize on the keyword match and drive organic traffic to your site? [ robot: you are severely overestimating our “vertical” ] I’ve decided to sell the domain fatgirljokes.com, which is closely related to your keyword. [ robot: that must have been... more

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Heather the Batshit Dumbfuck: Are You an Art Teacher?

Dear Mr. Peluski, I'm reaching out to you because I have been getting a lot of job leads as an art teacher, and I'm looking for another art teacher interested in taking on more clients. After checking out your website I think you are a great fit and I'd love to start sending you job leads. Please let me know about your skills and rates, and I'll start forwarding you... more

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Shred Your Ex at Hooters

Dear Tan Peluski, It’s hard to believe that everyone’s favorite Hallmark commercial holiday is a mere six days away. Yes, you know what I’m talking about – Valentine’s Day is almost here. Unfortunately for us single San DIego locals, February 14th most likely won’t be filled with Godiva chocolates, long stem roses and romantic candlelit dinners that our coupled up friends will be enjoying. But who says that we have to be... more

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Another Letter from Duane Snider

Recently I launched a new blog [ robot: turn… ] that you can find by going to my website [ robot: me… ] at *!! CENSORED LINK !!* and clicking on the link posted on my home page. [ robot: off! ] I hope you all take the time to check out what I will have to offer on what I hope will be a regular basis. [ robot: pull... more

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Letter from Selfless Sam Beck

hey – are you planning to write about art at all on here? [robot: no, we chose the name Portland City Art to intentionally mislead our readers…] i’ve been thinking that there should be reviews somewhere (the internet seems like a decent place) that just spell out explicitly which shows totally suck. you know, so you don’t have to go to them. maybe some kind of chart – either “this... more

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Letter from Unsuccessful Terence Healy

re creepy Duane’s  post — who are these blue collar collectors, and where do they look for art? i could use some new leads on potential buyers.  first thursdays on 13th/johnson where i set up are sometimes ok; alberta last thursdays have gotten a little too crazy to get to and set up on;  coffeehouses / bars i hardly sell in (except for murphy’s pub on 65th/se foster — sold... more

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Our Very First Letter from Creepy Duane Snider

Hello friends and art lovers. [robot: you don’t have any friends] Be sure to mark you calendars for May 14 at 8:00 PM for the Oregon Art Beat special on collecting and collectors.  I will be featured in this break through program as one of the ble collar collectors that the show will focus on.  This is truly a watermark event in terms of giving credit to people of modest... more

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