The Hippie Jesus is TOTALLY GAY for the Dalai Lama

The other day while I was hanging out in my tree house on Hawthorne, I overheard some teenagers having a disgusting conversation. I believe these teenagers identified with what I’ve heard is called the “emo” subculture as they all had extremely feminine haircuts and tight pants. One teenage boy said to his friend, “If you had to go gay, who would you go gay with?” His friend refused to answer so the first teenager elaborated. “I mean if someone forced you. Like you had to give a dude a hummer to survive.”

Finally, the other boy responded. He said, “Well, if I had to give a dude a hummer, I guess I’d pick a guy who looked like a chick. I dunno maybe Russell Brand?”

While, I, the Hippie Jesus have no idea who this Russell Brand person is, but it got me thinking about men loving each other. Men should be able to openly express their love for one another without fear of condemnation and although the conversation detailed above does slightly offend me, I felt the need to come out with my profound and deep love for the Dalai Lama.
That’s right, you homophobes, I am totally gay for His Holiness. When I look at pictures of the Dalai Lama, all I can see is a man who lives at peace with all living things. If you look closely, I mean with if you look with your heart, you will see the gentle green-gold aura of a man who respects all life. His eyes twinkle with wisdom. His hands are soft and passive.
As someone who has refrained from eating flesh for over six incarnations, I see in him the same reverence and purity. Buddhists, as you probably know, abhor all killing and that makes his holiness a perfect human being in my eyes.
To be honest, I didn’t know very much about the Dalai Lama when I started writing this article. All I really knew was told to me by an ex-girlfriend who attended Naropa University and she spoke of him as though he were some kind of living god. However, just now, I looked up the Dalai Lama on wikipedia and discovered that Tibetan Buddhists are not vegan. Frankly, it was a little shocking. Apparently, although their entire philosophy is based around non-violence, they dodge their moral obligation to animals by accepting any and all food that is donated to them, even flesh!
I was going to delete this article entirely, but then I started thinking about it and I realized that my original premise still holds. As the emo kid said, I had to give a man a hummer, I mean if I was tied up and forced, I guess I would perform fellaio His Holiness, The Dalai Lama. Those hands are really soft.

Fieden and that Fennedy guy that retired……

Fieden & Fennedy!!!! Oh seriously I’m having a pancretic reaction……….  Someone call a nurse!!! Really now Andy Warhol died a long time ago right? Seriously so did Steve Rubell…. Right? No They live on in Dan wieden’s dreams with Califunya!!!! Wow! It should’ve been named Califuckya! I would watch it then!!!!!!! Really I would…. It’d be nice! A great american romaniticism about fucking in the 21st century…. Hey my ex wife and I did that for  like 45 seconds…….. It was well, not romantic and no one has seen the videos but for a small price I’ll send them to ya…….. Seriously The WW ( Wilamette Week) just printed an article that well, seriously either made this ad firm look cool or full of a bunch of waisted money they could give to me… Oh! seriously!!! Come on Wieden and Kennedy I know you bought a piece of work from Chris Haberman….. Either you like getting your buttox licked or you just enjoy bad paintings on wood overlooked by 40 bottles either full of piss or beer!!!! Now that’s art!!!!Seriously!!!! It reminds me of your new endeavor, the radio/talent show/my dog just crapped on the floor broadcast…. Were you really going for that? Seriously my ex wife craps like my dog and I could have done your whole show for a six pack and some pain meds…… Oh really now!!!!!! This idea sucks…… Wish I had half a mill to give lame ass graduate creative gurus to stand a round and poop in a toilet all day….. Guess what!!!! They’d probebly find a way to deficate an image of my ex wife!!!! Seriously now that’s art!!!! Or maybe a Possum.!!!! If you want real talent how about checking out the streets for some amazing artists and creative types you can’t afford!!! Oh really now you can’t afford them that’s why……. Seriously I can’t wait to see your bad Partidge Familly sitcom fall into my ex wives crotch!!!!! seriously it’s huge…. Sorry you’re so good you lost those great big accounts… Seriously Dan wieden keep it up… Really now Califagaya… Hey what do you get when you cross a fat guy with Califunya? Falifagya!!!!!! lol!!!!! Seriously not really but that was funny……

Love ya!!!,