Me Baby! Me not like Hippie Jesus, Hippie Jesus vegan. Icky Poo! Vegan food tastes like doo doo. Me Baby, Me hope Hippie Jesus fall out of his tree and go splat on Hawthorne. Baby think Hippie Jesus stoopid! Ga Ga doo doo pants! Baby going to hire bad man to spike Hippie jesus food with bloody dead puppy juice. You bad man Hippie Jesus! Me puke on your shoe! Me go now. Baby upset.
[robot: today after an advertisement for our fledgling little publication was posted on craigslist, some people took time out of their busy days to visit our website and posted their reactions back on craigslist. apparently they were unaware that they can say whatever they want here. anyhow, we sent our resident craigslist correspondent, Baby, out to investigate the matter further.]
POST #1: Re: Portland Art Exposed “New online magazine created to destroy the mythos of Portland’s so-called art scene” What a noble endeavor! Good to see you finally found your niche- a blog! A blog devoted to clawing at anything more successful than you, so you’ll have plenty of material. Don’t you see you are only exposing yourself? You just splashed all your negativity, failure, bitterness and spite onto a page for all the world to see. No one will respect you for it. You’re just another anti-racc whiner. With 3 petty grievances. Way to go! That’s just what I’d want to be known for. But, thanks, you’ve reminded me how repulsive a being is when they blame everything but themselves. I’ll be returning to my studio now to spend my time on something worthwhile.
BABY’S RESPONSE: You make Baby cry! You want Baby dead!
POST #2: Re: Portland Art EXPOSED What a waste of time, go whine about your pathetic life somewhere else. Nobody likes you or your sorry excuse for humor.
BABY’S RESPONSE: You make Baby sad! You kill Baby’s mommy!
POST #3: Portland Art exposed. Yes Ben Pink is the Big Problem. I used to think that RACC and DK Row were the worst things about the Portland art scene but now that you reminded me it is Ben Pink even worse than Mel Katz. There is only one salvation in Portland art’s scene now and it is the Anti art anti racc scene — http://www.xanga.com/RACCone/weblog/ Its time to have an anti Ben pink web page to complement that one. If Ben Pink has not joined us art super stars having had sex with Mayor Sex Adams I think he should. My name is Joe Blue by the way and I would love to meet Ben Pink some day up close in personal. The two of us could be instant Pink and Blue together! Fuck Portland. Fuck RACC. Art is dead. Let smoke dope and pray. My favorite painting in portland art museum:
BABY’S RESPONSE: You say bad words! That not nice! You make Baby’s tummy hurt!
POST #4: so I have a pretty good idea who that anti-racc guy is http://www.myspace.com/portlandguy_awesomeness no offense love, I’ve been there when you’ve mentioned some of your references. (:
BABY’S RESPONSE: You stranger! You sell Baby for drugs!
POST #5: RE: Portland Art Exposed (the pit of despair that is my life) hating art must be a great past time. enjoy!
BABY’S RESPONSE: You yucky! You want Baby naked!
[robot: that wraps up our craiglist coverage for the day, it’s late and Baby needs to go night-night. you can reach baby at firstname.lastname@example.org, goodnight]
BABY’S RESPONSE: Again! Again!