Welcome: That Not Nice!

That Not Nice!
Resident craigslist correspondent, Baby.

Our very own resident craigslist columnist, Baby.

[robot: today after an advertisement for our fledgling little publication was posted on craigslist, some people took time out of their busy days to visit our website and posted their reactions back on craigslist. apparently they were unaware that they can say whatever they want here. anyhow, we sent our resident craigslist correspondent, Baby, out to investigate the matter further.]

POST #1: Re: Portland Art Exposed “New online magazine created to destroy the mythos of Portland’s so-called art scene” What a noble endeavor! Good to see you finally found your niche- a blog! A blog devoted to clawing at anything more successful than you, so you’ll have plenty of material. Don’t you see you are only exposing yourself? You just splashed all your negativity, failure, bitterness and spite onto a page for all the world to see. No one will respect you for it. You’re just another anti-racc whiner. With 3 petty grievances. Way to go! That’s just what I’d want to be known for. But, thanks, you’ve reminded me how repulsive a being is when they blame everything but themselves. I’ll be returning to my studio now to spend my time on something worthwhile.

BABY’S RESPONSE: You make Baby cry! You want Baby dead!

POST #2: Re: Portland Art EXPOSED What a waste of time, go whine about your pathetic life somewhere else. Nobody likes you or your sorry excuse for humor.

BABY’S RESPONSE: You make Baby sad! You kill Baby’s mommy!

POST #3: Portland Art exposed. Yes Ben Pink is the Big Problem. I used to think that RACC and DK Row were the worst things about the Portland art scene but now that you reminded me it is Ben Pink even worse than Mel Katz. There is only one salvation in Portland art’s scene now and it is the Anti art anti racc scene — http://www.xanga.com/RACCone/weblog/ Its time to have an anti Ben pink web page to complement that one. If Ben Pink has not joined us art super stars having had sex with Mayor Sex Adams I think he should. My name is Joe Blue by the way and I would love to meet Ben Pink some day up close in personal. The two of us could be instant Pink and Blue together! Fuck Portland. Fuck RACC. Art is dead. Let smoke dope and pray. My favorite painting in portland art museum:

BABY’S RESPONSE: You say bad words! That not nice! You make Baby’s tummy hurt!

POST #4: so I have a pretty good idea who that anti-racc guy is http://www.myspace.com/portlandguy_awesomeness no offense love, I’ve been there when you’ve mentioned some of your references. (:

BABY’S RESPONSE: You stranger! You sell Baby for drugs!

POST #5: RE: Portland Art Exposed (the pit of despair that is my life) hating art must be a great past time. enjoy!

BABY’S RESPONSE: You yucky! You want Baby naked!

[robot: that wraps up our craiglist coverage for the day, it’s late and Baby needs to go night-night. you can reach baby at baby@portlandcityart.com, goodnight]

BABY’S RESPONSE: Again! Again!

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6 Responses to “Welcome: That Not Nice!”

  1. Barion Christ said:

    I once knew a dude named Jim…
    who’d wack his dick on a whim…
    on the ninth stroke, it squirt…
    leaving a HUGE stain on his shirt…
    for all to see but him.

  2. robot said:

    nice limerick, keep practicing those English skills and you might make it to 3rd grade next year!

  3. Jinny said:

    Thank you! I would now go on this blog every day!

  4. robot said:

    while you’re here, would you mind rubbing my back also? it’s killing me

  5. Really said:

    How did this go: “New online magazine created to destroy the mythos of Portland’s so-called art scene” ?? Not so great ?? Because now you’re trying to re-brand as a serious, open-to-all, Portland arts mag. Did baby make FAIL? I dunno, you wanted to destroy the Portland art scene now you want us to like you? Mmm… no sale.

  6. robot said:

    there’s a choice we’re making..

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