Wow Steve you’ve really done a great job! Not!

I didn’t have a picture of myself to post on this shit pocket of a website so I found one in your media library that I think was funny but also represented how tiny of a person you are. The best part about it though is the picture is of a tiny person with a gun that I picture aiming at your nut sack and almost ready to fire. [robot: Charlie obviously thinks he uploaded a photo with this article, but he must have not been able to hit the “save” button with his giant, pudgy fingers or something… What a fucking dipshit!]

Man Steve when you told me about this site and I wrote a couple things i thought it was funny and and going to be full of semi-good sarcastic humor that may make people a bit mad but in the least allow them to laugh a bit if not at themselves maybe just the art scene in general. After being away from this crap pot for so long and reading about all the controversy on craigslist including the emails I’ve gotten on facebook from people you’ve, well bullied to the point of being retarded I’m glad I’m not a part of this anymore. I try to be honest Steve, robot, Tan Peluski, Art Jeanyus what ever you want to call yourself but you are really a shallow, sad little man. No wonder Chris Haberman hates you. He won’t even talk to me anymore not many people even do. I wish I would have never have met you. You’re funny for like a month then you’re really side comes out. All you want to do is hurt people and make them feel bad just to make yourself feel better or something. The art community in Portland is dumb at times but it’s dumb everywhere, why bag so much on it? People work really hard to bring everyone together in this town and that’s why I love it. Then there’s you, a thorn in our ass cheeks. Ever think of doing something productive? How about being nice? Maybe a column apologizing to everyone in Portland about this site would be a good first step. People here aren’t bad and they’re art doesn’t suck it’s an art community here I just wish I was a part of it more so I could get a bunch of people to do a website about you. How about That sounds good. Well best wishes man living alone with no friends or anyone who cares about you while everyone else here including me actually work hard at art and try to bring it to everyone so they can be enriched by our creativity. Wow, Loser never crossed my mind when I met you but the word showed up quickly after.

I am your Worst Nightmare


Verygood. It seems that underwear is on sale. It is truly I, in the virtual flesh. I write this, because it is long.

How to catch old ladies…

Last time, I had just ended the affair with my nurse, DQ. Not enough oral, so DQ had to go back to the coma patients. That’s the easiest place to get dick when you’re not into things. Incredible, though. Phenomenal, really. The soapy sponge over my masculine form, it was yellow and sudsy. I liked it that way. I still have no idea why I was hospitalized, I only know that DQ kept me in a room for three months. True, I enjoyed my time, but the steak didn’t have enough juice to satisfy me for long. This leads me to last night on Tri-Met…
I had faked my death at least three times (that I can think of) before Mickey Rourke, the celebrity paid actor, climbed aboard. Sometimes people say, “We don’t have any damn paid actors working for us!”  Nobody that hires Mickey Rourke can say that. Dah! You can get that in a jar, at the store, but you won’t find any of it around here. So when MR climbed onto the bus, I started counting backwards from 1,000,000. One plus a million… Translation is never perfect. ONE MILLION!
The English language… Translating between virtual and real… When MR climbed aboard, I was chatting with a lovely older woman, named Olivia Newton Oliver Jones. She was not from Australia, but she made me feel something. She had a rather small vocabulary for her age, but the sex was great. It gave me new clarity. “A good pounding” also works great.
Nine years it had been since I’d last seen a celebrity from outside of Portland, yet there is only so much I can say in one sitting. You can’t coax the cotton out of fabric. I can only still describe some of the details. He had chicken-flavored breath, and my nose knew the terrain quickly. I only wish that I’d of had a shovel with me. Even just a wooden handle. I would have fucked up Mickey Rourke with a handle. I would have gotten salty and sweaty. A ring of gravy under the pits. Bring on some onion rings.
I wish that I’d of had a shovel, because then I would know if all those things about ONOJ, the old non-Australian lady, were true or false.

What’s the best thing about old ladies?

They might make you cookies, and replies are donated to charity.

How to catch old ladies?

Carry a big stick.

People Will Talk @ Launchpad Gallery

Hey honeys! Oh sweethearts, hold on, sorry for the miscommunication. I wasn’t talking funny not cause I don’t like you… I was just rubbing my balls and I had good hard… well, you know in my mouth…. Lol! Only some of you will get that, sweeties, but hey!

In between the time it takes me to bend over some of those well known city officals and your next door neighbors husband, MMMMmmmmmm. I love married men, oh sorry sweeties off the subject. I like to take some time and wander into some Portland art galleries. Oh honey I love it, it gets me wet and hard all at the same time sweeties. I’m smacking my lips just thinking about some art my mangina got all erect over the other day…

I was working my way down a popular Portland street hung over and worn out from the hard nasty I gave some hot guy in an alley and honey let me tell you that nasty was… mmmmmmm. good for me and him. I put his ass pussy where it belonged! Afterwards, sweeties, I went lookin’ for something just as sweet for my eyes… I stumbled into Launchpad Gallery, and oh honey if my pants weren’t already wet I wet them again….. Photos by Mark Wickum, and paintings of photos by Chris Haberman….. I tried to suck a dick for some art but was refused. Then I tried the ol’ I’ll bend you over for one but no one took the bait… Guess I’m just a pay as you need it kinda gyrl… get it sweeties?… Wish I had some of that sweet love on those walls, though, and that artist Chris Haberman, oh sweeties he can bend me over anytime. Loved it all, loved it so much I even gave a trick a freebie I just had to let something of mine explode after all that nasty I saw on those walls.. Nasty is good sweethearts, not bad! It means wholesome gyrl love in my back. Come get nasty with me when you’re free, my treat of course, but only for a hot sexy painting…

Love you sweeties…….
Bosom Bunny…