John from Cincinatti: Fat Girl Jokes are More Popular Than Ever

Mail Bag by Robot (11/17/2011)
Robot

Dear Editor,

Did you know many companies within your vertical are currently advertising under the term (fat girl jokes) and it’s costing them about (0.62) per click? Why not capitalize on the keyword match and drive organic traffic to your site? [ robot: you are severely overestimating our “vertical” ]

I’ve decided to sell the domain fatgirljokes.com, which is closely related to your keyword. [ robot: that must have been a pretty tough decision ] It will help drive organic traffic to you and provide an SEO boost. [ robot: which amounts to what exactly? ] This way you won’t have to spend anything on adwords because you can get organic traffic. [ robot: I am erect just thinking about all the money that we have never spent on advertising. ] Owning an exact match keyword domain is a great way to pick up additional targeted searches your current domain would never receive. It will increase your exposure for multiple keywords to bring you new business you would have missed otherwise. [ robot: Jesus, it’s me, robot. I know all you’ve been hearing from me for a while has been whining and complaining, accusing you of not loving me, but you know, this whole fat girl joke revenue thing that you’re basically throwing my way? well that changes everything! ]

I’m selling this domain for only $375 to the first person who replies to this email. I will be reaching out to other related businesses so please reply soon if interested. [ robot: three hundred what? dollars? american? ]

Best Regards,
John

1040 Hosbrook Dr.
Cincinnati, OH 45236

[ robot: dear john, what kind of shitty ass salesman pitches a domain as awesome as fatgirljokes.com without telling one? I mean, I know according to your figures they’re worth like sixty cents each or whatever, but throw like one or two fat girl jokes in there and I might have thought about it. you’re the worst kind of salesman, no please kindly go crawl into a corner and choke to death on your own feces you fat piece of shit. ]<

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