Ten MORE Things NOT to Do in Portland

First I want to use the big word “Apologize” which means sorry and I say this because I have not been on here much lately. To explain every detail of my time spent else where would no doubt confuse you all and send you into mass hysteria ( Oh shit! ) I mean panic. So in short and with little words I have spent well over a month working in space on a global ( crap! )  Star wars ( shit! ) cool dishes in space that puts out messages with light to protect our planet from intergalactic ( whoops!  other places with little round balls near by like earth. ) warfare. So with all that said we can move on to this weeks”Top Ten Things Not to do In Portland” Alright folks, hippies, vegans, artists and fancy pants political icons (people who common folk look up to that stand for something they agree with.) Now!

What NOT to Do in Portland!

  1. Wear camouflage jeans outside of the woods or from under a bridge!
  2. Have a cell phone plan that is not with Cricket!
  3. Forget to apply for foodstamps!
  4. Purchase art work from Charlie Alan Kraft
  5. Date a stripper!
  6. Have a baby with a stripper!
  7. Tell people you live in Gresham!
  8. Stand on the street corner not asking for change!
  9. Actually come from Oregon.
  10. Pick up your cigarette butts!