C.O.C.K. G.A.G. Brings Portland Artists and Animal Rights Together

In the world of animal rights, no organization has done more for the plight of non-human animals than C.O.C.K. (Compassion Over Cruelty and Killing). As the world’s most perfect and pure vegan, I only support non-profit organizations whose message is for animal rights not animal welfare. If you don’t know the difference, then you’re probably the type of asshole who puts bacon on a veggie burger. The good people at C.O.C.K. know the difference. They know that farm animals are just hairy people who can’t talk or open a door. They know that in the peaceful world of nature an animal should never be food for another animal. It’s about rights people! Rights for all living, breathing creatures that don’t make their own food through photosynthesis. I mean, fuck, it’s not that hard to understand!

So when I heard that my old friend John Graeter is opening a new gallery this First Thursday, I knew this was the perfect opportunity to merge my dual loves of animal rights and Portland art. I will have my 100% vegan mandalas for sale tomorrow at Graeter Art Gallery (G.A.G.) and all of my profits from Thursday’s sales will go to C.O.C.K.’s campaign to end the senseless cruelty of chicken choking. I mean, even disgusting dairy eating vegetarians and the brutal Nazi’s who call themselves “omnivores” can all agree that choking chickens is sick and wrong.

So please come down to G.A.G. and buy one of my vegan mandalas in support of C.O.C.K’s efforts to end chicken choking for good. Thanks to John Graeter and his C.O.C.K. support, we may soon see the end of chicken choking.

G.A.G. Opening
October 6, 2011 from 5pm – 10pm
131 NW 2nd Ave,
Portland, OR, 97209

Wow Steve you’ve really done a great job! Not!

I didn’t have a picture of myself to post on this shit pocket of a website so I found one in your media library that I think was funny but also represented how tiny of a person you are. The best part about it though is the picture is of a tiny person with a gun that I picture aiming at your nut sack and almost ready to fire. [robot: Charlie obviously thinks he uploaded a photo with this article, but he must have not been able to hit the “save” button with his giant, pudgy fingers or something… What a fucking dipshit!]

Man Steve when you told me about this site and I wrote a couple things i thought it was funny and and going to be full of semi-good sarcastic humor that may make people a bit mad but in the least allow them to laugh a bit if not at themselves maybe just the art scene in general. After being away from this crap pot for so long and reading about all the controversy on craigslist including the emails I’ve gotten on facebook from people you’ve, well bullied to the point of being retarded I’m glad I’m not a part of this anymore. I try to be honest Steve, robot, Tan Peluski, Art Jeanyus what ever you want to call yourself but you are really a shallow, sad little man. No wonder Chris Haberman hates you. He won’t even talk to me anymore not many people even do. I wish I would have never have met you. You’re funny for like a month then you’re really side comes out. All you want to do is hurt people and make them feel bad just to make yourself feel better or something. The art community in Portland is dumb at times but it’s dumb everywhere, why bag so much on it? People work really hard to bring everyone together in this town and that’s why I love it. Then there’s you, a thorn in our ass cheeks. Ever think of doing something productive? How about being nice? Maybe a column apologizing to everyone in Portland about this site would be a good first step. People here aren’t bad and they’re art doesn’t suck it’s an art community here I just wish I was a part of it more so I could get a bunch of people to do a website about you. How about www.SDElIOTTISANA_HOLE.com That sounds good. Well best wishes man living alone with no friends or anyone who cares about you while everyone else here including me actually work hard at art and try to bring it to everyone so they can be enriched by our creativity. Wow, Loser never crossed my mind when I met you but the word showed up quickly after.

Ten MORE Things NOT to Do in Portland

First I want to use the big word “Apologize” which means sorry and I say this because I have not been on here much lately. To explain every detail of my time spent else where would no doubt confuse you all and send you into mass hysteria ( Oh shit! ) I mean panic. So in short and with little words I have spent well over a month working in space on a global ( crap! )  Star wars ( shit! ) cool dishes in space that puts out messages with light to protect our planet from intergalactic ( whoops!  other places with little round balls near by like earth. ) warfare. So with all that said we can move on to this weeks”Top Ten Things Not to do In Portland” Alright folks, hippies, vegans, artists and fancy pants political icons (people who common folk look up to that stand for something they agree with.) Now!

What NOT to Do in Portland!

  1. Wear camouflage jeans outside of the woods or from under a bridge!
  2. Have a cell phone plan that is not with Cricket!
  3. Forget to apply for foodstamps!
  4. Purchase art work from Charlie Alan Kraft
  5. Date a stripper!
  6. Have a baby with a stripper!
  7. Tell people you live in Gresham!
  8. Stand on the street corner not asking for change!
  9. Actually come from Oregon.
  10. Pick up your cigarette butts!

The Peluski Position: Abortion

Seriously now, abortion!, What’s that? I think I’m having one right now! Oh really now, can I choose not to take a dump? No! Really now! Can I? I want to abort my liver! Is that possible? It should be cause I am in no financial position to support it! Oh, seriously Abortion is good, kids are little and can’t wipe their own asses for years, like me now. Really now, they can’t even drink! Who wants a bunch of little people running around waiting for you to wipe their asses and not even sharing your bottle of jack with you. Really now! Go abortion! Seriously..