all articles filed under Man About Town...
The Peluski Position: John Graeter’s Artwork
Seriously, awesome! When I had was drinking I realized all those little line you John paints over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and... more
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The Peluski Position: Testicles
Seriously what a great subject! Big juicy, hairy things that feel like large jelly beans hanging between the legs of men. I still have one, really but I made it huge with some “Get your only testicle huge.” pills. They work great but now I kids keep asking me to use the baseball I have stuffed in my pants at the park when they hit there’s out of the field.... more
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The Peluski Position: Homosexuality
Seriously, poke me with a semi hard object in the you know what! Oh really now Homos are great! I love to play with my penis! Seriously I’m like a Homosexual. The only thing better then being Homosexual is being Bisexual, seriously you get some poking and you get to poke. Hey what do you get when you cross a fat guy with a queer? A fat chick! Oh really now... more
tagged with bisexuals, fat guy jokes, homosexuals
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The Peluski Position: Abortion
Seriously now, abortion!, What’s that? I think I’m having one right now! Oh really now, can I choose not to take a dump? No! Really now! Can I? I want to abort my liver! Is that possible? It should be cause I am in no financial position to support it! Oh, seriously Abortion is good, kids are little and can’t wipe their own asses for years, like me now. Really... more
tagged with abortion, art, free media, journalism, painting, portland city art, portland oregon
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Mario Robert: How Do You Say “TAKE ME TO AN INSANE ASYLUM” in Spanish?
If you were here right now, you would be wondering: why is the Man About Town sitting in a Kinko’s video conference room drinking straight tequila from a Big Gulp cup? Perhaps you would be wondering what happened to my pants. I will be the one asking the questions, though, as it is my distinct pleasure to be joined, via satellite, by one of Portland’s most celebrated drinkers and artists,... more
tagged with Brazilian whores, Caguama, Corazon Azul, homemade weapons, Kinko's, KISS, Mario Brothers, Mario Robert, Marvel Zombies, Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor, satan, strawberries, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Exorcist, Voodoo Doughnut, warphole rape
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John Wray is One Serious Mother Fucker
Hey folks! Man About Town here, and dear God my liver is killing me. Despite my doctor’s threats of violence if I leave my bed today, I am sitting here with none other than Portland’s own John Wray, an amazing artist and one of pinball’s true heros. This is one guy you don’t want to miss out on talking to, even when your piss is coming out purple and your... more
tagged with Crazy Flipper Fingers, ex-wife jokes, fat guy jokes, John Wray, liver problems, NRA, pinball, Poison, Sam Adams, ZZ Top
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Art Teacher Interview
Question: How does it feel to be teaching children the building blocks for the most unsuccessful and unnecessary career in the world? Answer: Great, asshole. Q: I’m only kidding. Seriously, though… so you’re teaching our kids to be losers? A: No. Q: What do you get when you cross a fat guy with a bunch of suburban art students? A: I don’t know… Is this a real interview? Q: Coffee... more
tagged with art teacher, ex-wife jokes, fat guy jokes, female orgasm, Star Trek
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Introducing the Man About Town
Hi, I’m Tan Peluski. My friends call me Melanin. I’m only kidding, you can call me anything you want as long as you’re buying. Seriously though, folks, if I had a dime for every time I said something that wasn’t funny, I’d owe you five bucks. Seriously though, welcome to my column. Why don’t we get started? People are always asking me, “Man About Town, who is the most successful... more
tagged with fat guy jokes, Home Shopping Network, Last Thursday
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