The Peluski Position: Testicles

Seriously what a great subject! Big juicy, hairy things that feel like large jelly beans hanging between the legs of men. I still have one, really but I made it huge with some “Get your only testicle huge.” pills. They work great but now I kids keep asking me to use the baseball I have stuffed in my pants at the park when they hit there’s out of the field. They ” Tan, come on can we use your baseball? Please!” Respectfully and because I am totally against telling children about my private parts I simply reply, “Sorry little Tans but this baseball was signed by Babe Ruth himself and it stays in my pants. Besides it’s a bit soiled.” At first they got excited when I mentioned Babe Ruth but the soiled part turned them off. One day a disgruntled Father of one of the children chased me off the field thinking I had stolen one of the teams baseballs. After a heated argument and my liver screaming “Stop you’re gonna die!” I pulled down my pants and in a surprising turn of events he shook my hand and requested the doctor that gave me the medication to accomplish such a tremendous display of manliness. I’m safe now, the kids stopped bothering me and now bug him for the two baseballs he keeps hiding in his pants…. So all in all Testicles are awesome, seriously, they get Tan’s double thumbs up approval.

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